Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Leaving the Land I Love...


This post is a challenging one for me to write.  It is difficult to put words to your deepest emotions, especially when you know that those words will be read by many.  However, I believe it is important that I address the way I feel about our family having to leave Ukraine.  I want my children to read these words one day and understand the struggle that their parents faced when making such a permanent, life-changing decision.  I also want my readers to understand how very emotionally difficult it was for us.

We spent 10 years of our lives laboring in Ukraine.  Before that decade, we spent 18 months raising support on deputation to live and work in Ukraine.  That is a huge chunk of our lives dedicated to one country!

In an upcoming post, I will better explain the nitty-gritty technical side of why we had to leave Ukraine.  But, for now I just want to talk about the leaving part.

Every bone in our bodies have been created to serve in missions.  We never, ever once discussed or even played around with the thought of one day leaving the field.  In fact, we were so prepared to stay the rest of our lives that we had even begun building our home after 7 years of being on the field.  After 3 years of building, we were living quite comfortably... the most comfortably we ever had lived.  We had most definitely planted ourselves physically and emotionally to stay a lifetime.  We also had our (airline) return tickets purchased and left almost everything we own in our home, where it remains to this day.

When it became apparent that God was moving us permanently, we struggled with several issues:

  • What about our ministry?  Praise the Lord that we were working for Missionary-Pastor Bob VanSant whose visa still does not expire for awhile.  The church is not without a pastor, and the pastor is not without some wonderful people - Ukrainians who have been trained for ministering.
  • What about our house?  (If you are also wondering, our answer is that we are still trying to figure this one out ourselves).  
  • What about the Russian language we have labored over, sweat over, and cried over to learn?  Only God truly knows the answer to this one, but I will say that there are Russian communities right where we live now and God may one day see fit to use our Russian-speaking abilities here.  Also, those language skills were not in vain during our time on the field.  As soon as we could speak Russian, we were using it to teach and minister.
I also want to state that we are, in most cases, against missionaries leaving the field.  To us missions is a life-time calling.  Though we are not on a foreign field, missions will be our heartbeat until the day we die.

I have also struggled with the whole idea of being back in America - the land of comforts and conveniences. In fact, there was a time that I really struggled with the idea of *maybe* serving in Israel permanently for the very same reasons.  Then, my hubby lovingly pointed out that you don't have to "do without" some things to be serving God.  Ah, yes.... right.  I guess this loosely comes under the same category of "you don't have to go to a country that speaks a foreign language to be a missionary."  I know that some missionaries struggle with the fact that they are in an English-speaking country and therefore do not "qualify" as a missionary as much as others who struggle over a foreign language may.

So, have I moved to America and completely walked away from Ukraine, not looking back?  Nothing.... nothing could be further from the truth.  I love that country with every ounce of my being.  I have Ukrainian friends that are dearer to me than I could ever say and it pains me to know that I will not see them on a regular basis anymore.  

I love Ukraine.  It was not my birth country, but it is the country in which I poured my heart and 10 years of my life.  It is my heart country.

I {heart} you, Ukraine!

47 comments:

  1. I think I can honestly say that I understand, even though you say that you were having a hard time expressing yourself here.

    Also, I thought of a post that I recently read from a friend who has to leave Russia now. You are definitely coffee!

    I'm praying for you!

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  2. My heart breaks for you, Jolene! I can't imagine having to leave! At the same time, I'm excited about what God is doing your lives. The many young people you will be able to touch and influence with your passion for missions is something only our Heavenly Father knows the depth of! Know your family is in our thoughts our prayers.

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  3. I have thought of you so often since the Lord has directed you back here to the states. In fact, I think of you daily. I know how hard it was for me to leave after only being there for 2 months! We fell in love with the people, something I was not expecting! I deeply long to return and it seems that could not come quick enough. However, while we are here...we have to rest knowing that is where God has us. I cannot imagine the pain in your heart. Isn't it wonderful however, that we can have the sweet peace of God that passes all understanding during these times and that we can find perfect rest in Him. Thank you for your service to God in my son's homeland. What a testimony you are to our family. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed upon thee; because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD forever; for in the LORD Jehovah is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26 3-4
    We will be praying in the coming months as I am sure there will be many details to be worked out and decisions to be made. In Christ,
    Misty

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  4. Praying for you. As we have seen this happen with our Pastor and brother-in-law, I have wrestled with the "what if God asked us to leave" question myself. But to say I am surrendered to God means that I can trust Him with my life now matter the location. We cannot see the plans for the tapestry God is creating in us, but we know that He works with a love greater than our understanding.

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    1. I totally agree Sally! We may not see or understand His way but we know that He is in control and we choose to rest in Him. --Sheila Campbell

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  5. Dear Jolene, So very glad you wrote this post ~ though you have no obligation to explain things, it helps! Sometimes when missionaries leave the field it is easy to make assumptions that just aren't the truth. We, too, believe missions is for a life time. When we thought we might have to leave last summer, all the things you've mentioned kept tumbling through my heart and mind. I'm praying for you as you work through so many things right now ~ not only the logistics, but also the emotions. I'm praying, too, that God fills you with peace to overflowing.
    Patty

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  6. You are in my prayers Jolene. I can't imagine how difficult it is to say good-bye to your heart country. But, I am so excited that you are still involved in missions and Lord Willing you will reach the world through the young people you are training! God Bless you in these months of transition!

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  7. I feel sad when I think about you not being in Ukraine. You were such an important piece of our Ukrainian experience, a treasure for sure! But I must say, that I am excited about the fact that you are so much closer to where we live and I would certainly love to come and say hello in the future.
    Maybe some day we'll both be back in Ukraine but I'm glad we can serve Jesus while we wait for that opportunity!

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  8. I will be praying for you and your family.

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  9. I have been wondering how you were doing with this. I'm excited for you to be walking through a new door that God has opened, but my heart aches for you! I can't imagine being forced from my heart country. I'm praying for you and your sweet family as you make this transition. Asking God to use the struggles, the difficulties, and the new challenges to reveal more of Himself to you, and draw you closer than ever before. *HUGS*

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  10. I can't imagine how hard that would be...knowing how hard it was for me after 3 weeks. Prayers!

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  11. Praying for you, sweet Jolene. What a hard decision! Yet I know God's peace in knowing you are doing HIS will is comforting you. Love you all! Will miss not getting to see you when we travel down to southern Ukraine!

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  12. Oh Jolene...my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. The Lord has put you on my heart many times over the past few weeks. I will be praying for you all! What a difficult transition. I'm glad to hear that Pastor Bob and Judy are still over there. I was wondering. And selfishly, I'm a little bummed. I was hoping to maybe meet you this summer/fall when we go back. The city we hope to visit isn't terribly far from Crimea. Ironic that it would be easier to visit you in Ukraine than in California?!?! :-) Praying for you!

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  13. It has been a blessing to watch you follow God's leading in your lives. As hard as leaving the Ukraine must be, God still seems to have so much for you all to do. My hubby has a theory that America is becoming such a wicked nation that God is bringing missionaries BACK to the USA to be missionaries here. I wouldn't doubt that for a minute. Praying for you as you transition back to life in the US and work out all the details that remain with leaving the Ukraine. Blessings!! :)

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  14. Stephanie CopelandWednesday, April 17, 2013

    Praying for you!

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  15. Was talking to Sam the other day and he said I know Bro. Sloan will miss the field...but so many people will benefit from the wisdom he can give in this new chapter. And you too :-)

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  16. Cristy Scott WyattWednesday, April 17, 2013

    Beautiful words. Prayers to you and your family!

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  17. Phyllis BlickensderferWednesday, April 17, 2013

    America may need missionaries as seriously as any foreign field. This may not be such a comfortable place. Our trust cannot be places on that - but in the Lord's ability to direct our paths. That's perfection.

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  18. Colleen Ireland BurnettWednesday, April 17, 2013

    Praying for you all as you go thru the steps for this big move.

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  19. "As for God, His way is Perfect!" We are praying for you, David and Jolene, as you go through this change. Many hugs from all of us!

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    1. Praying for you! I agree with the other post! God's way is perfect! Hugs!

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  20. God never makes a mistake. And I cannot stress enough to you to USE YOUR LANGUAGE!!! When I left Germany I spoke German so fluently and it came so naturally and easily that I never thought it would drift away. It did. I can still speak it and write it, but I definitely have to put a lot of brain power behind it and the accent is rough, too. So, speak it at every opportunity!

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  21. Sometimes "our plans" are not always "Gods Plans". This can be difficult to swallow at times. We dont always have the answers like we think we do. God knows your heart and he knows your heart and home lies with the Ukrainian country you have grown to love. He knows your heart aches and he will bless you so much more than you could ever imagine. It just takes patience......something I think we mere mortals have a problem with. We want things now and thats not always the best thing for us. Thank goodness we have a God who knows us better than we know ourselves!! Praying God will pour out his many blessings for you and your family......you have centrainly earned it by being in the mission field and helping so many people over the years. God BLESS ALL of your family :-)

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  22. I have a little request, that you can completely ignore if it doesn't suit you. I still just wanted to ask. :-)

    When you get to sharing the technical details of your visa situation on your blog (and I'm very curious to hear that part!), would you be willing to link to resources for anyone who wants to come to Ukraine? Or at least make sure that they know it's not so hard in most regions? So, so many of us in other parts of Ukraine have found it--not simple--but very doable, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that they can't minister here, because of your bad experience. Your blog is so popular! It's the first thing that comes up when I search for Ukraine missionary blog.

    I'm thinking of you and praying for you every day!

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  23. Blinking back tears~
    Maybe one day we can chat. Bear your heart out! I can understand your agony over this.
    Hugs
    Michelle

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  24. Jolene: tissues, please. tears running! I felt like I really got attached to you, while you were living and serving in Ukraine. I still think about your beautiful home and the precious people you ministered to there. I am confident that you are in God's will and we must trust and believe that God has a specific purpose for you at this time. I know this is not an accident, God has our lives already figured out. It is a comfort to read the Scriptures and cling to His promises. You inspire me to keep pressing on! Thank you Jolene.

    Your Sister in Christ,
    Nola Holmes

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  25. God alone will fill the void in your heart in time and I believe you will always have a "special" love for the Ukraine people.. no one can take that away... I wish I could give you encouragement and say this is why.... but so often we do not know why ! It is a step of faith... walking out on a limb and finding that God does not let the limb break... even when the wind blows... and the storms come .. we are under HIS umbrella... Hold your head up high for you are serving a Mighty God that will hold you close during this transition...
    Just know I am praying for you and I am still excited to hear of the great adventures God has for you...
    Love and Prayers,
    Mrs. Nell

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  26. Yanis and I are praying for you and your family, Mrs. Sloan. It was a blessing to see you in California in November.

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  27. Mrs. Sloan,

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It is very encouraging to me. :)

    Naomi Otovo

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  28. Hang in there, God has a way of changing our desires. Before long California will become the center of your heart. Enjoy the journey!

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  29. Praying for you too, Jolene! I know your heart is in Ukraine and will be!

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  30. OK, honestly, all I can do is cry right now. And, I love knowing that our DADDY holds your tears and mine in a bottle. He cares for every need, big and tiny... Sending bunches of hugs from Germany, my dear sister in the Lord. Change is hard, no matter what, and although the VERY, VERY, VERY best place to be is in our Father's will, that doesn't make it easy or simple... what a testimony you have, Jolene!

    Praying for your family often and so thankful for the blessing you are in my (and my family) life! HE is able! So much more than able!

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  31. Sis Jolene, please know you and family are in my prayers; this isn't an easy time for you but, I know the Lord will comfort your heart as you do His will. Lord bless you.

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  32. Thank you, Jolene, for your touching blog. I know how hard it must be to be so far away from the people you grew to love in the years you lived in Ukraine. But I'm happy that God immediately gave you a wonderful place of service, surrounded by people who love and appreciate you.

    I wrote a Thank You note to Pastor Trieber, thanking him and Mrs. Trieber for their kindness to you.

    I love you, and am proud to be your...
    ...Mom
    Nahum 1:7

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  33. I know this must be so hard for you! My family and I haven't moved internationally, but did move across the country (from CA to FL) away from all our family. It was hard, but I was reminded of the Hebrews in the wilderness, before they entered the Promised Land. We, too, are wandering pilgrims in this wilderness following where the Lord leads us, and will one day enter the true promised land of heaven. I'll pray for your family, especially your kids, that the transition to living back in the States will go smoothly. Hugs!!

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  34. Jolene, I praise God that He gave you those years serving Him in Ukraine. I know you will miss it as well as they will miss you all. You can probably imagine that we have spent the majority of our lives here wondering if this is the year that we must leave. I understand the frustrations and fear of change. I really understand the unbelievable pain when you think of leaving your people. It doesn't matter where you are, you will be a ray of sunshine to everyone. You mustn't ever forget that the bigger picture is unclear to you but it isn't to your Heavenly Father. Relax and trust Him to help you deal with the pain and then be a light to those around where God places you. Praying for you and love you!

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  35. Praying for y'all!

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  36. Daniel and Abigail JacoboWednesday, April 24, 2013

    Trust me when I say this, California is a very needy mission field with lots of people from different countries. I know God will use you.

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  37. Praying for you!

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  38. Rebecca HughesFriday, May 10, 2013

    Praying for you Jolene! I know it must be hard to leave a country you love! KNOW telling what GOD has in store for you here in the U.S. and the lives that will before ever changed because you 'GAVE TO THE LORD" The Melodies sang at a church I attended and you shared your personal story. I was so moved GOD knows "why" I never forgot you.. later I attended O.B.C. and we got to know each other a little. YOU and your precious family will be greatly used. "ONE STEP AT A TIME" the "McKameys" I don't know how to post it here so I am going to post it on my FB wall to encourage you . xxxoo much love from Elkins ARK

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  39. Hi Jolene. We actually do know exactly what you're going through. We're in the process of leaving Russia after 11 years of living and ministering here. It wasn't our choice to leave either, and it's very painful. Even though we're trying to focus on the positives, the tears keep coming unexpectedly. However, we know that God doesn't make mistakes, and that everything is under His sovereign will, so part of us is excited to see what He has in store for us next. I pray the same for you - that you will have peace in your heart about the next stage in your life and ministry. We sold our house today, and tomorrow we're having a big garage sale of all our stuff. Like you, it's hard for us to think we won't be living here anymore. I hope you'll be able to make several trips back to see friends again. And give it time too. Some colleagues said it could take up to 2 years to get over this kind of upheaval. Allow yourselves space to grieve. Praying for you!
    Catherine

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  40. Thank God for His peace that passes all understanding!! Pray for you guys as you make this new adjustment, America is not an easy country just because we do have all the luxuries and conveniences!

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  41. Jolene, we are thinking of you guys and I really appreciate your blog update--very well said and explained. I just know that the Lord has a great plan for such a great family. It is apparent that you guys desire to serve Him wherever you are--we saw that clearly when you were here in Israel serving faithfully in any way possible even though it was only a three-month stay! We really grew to love you. Hey, it was your children that helped seed our kid's club at the congregation! What a blessing you guys are . We miss you and hope we get to see you again. God bless you!

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  42. Jolene, we are thinking of you guys and I really appreciate your blog update--very well said and explained. I just know that the Lord has a great plan for such a great family. It is apparent that you guys desire to serve Him wherever you are--we saw that clearly when you were here in Israel serving faithfully in any way possible even though it was only a three-month stay! We really grew to love you. Hey, it was your children that helped seed our kid's club at the congregation! What a blessing you guys are . We miss you and hope we get to see you again. God bless you!

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  43. That was so precious Jolene. Thanks for sharing. - Tinyla

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  44. Did you ever "explain the nitty-gritty technical side of why [you] had to leave" in another post? I can't find one. I found your blog in the summer of 2013 as I was preparing to head there, but didn't realize you had already left. Then came across a link I had saved and wondered if you were still here.

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    1. I did write a blog post with the entire explanation but left it as a draft. If you send me your e-mail address, I can send you a copy of the draft. We just figured that most people probably wouldn't be too interested in all of the paperwork hassle. Thanks for noticing though that I never actually posted it!

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Thank you for your encouraging comments! "As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." Proverbs 25:25